Watchable? Maybe. The Slumber Party Massacre

August 9, 2019

“The worst horror movie I ever saw was fucking great,” Stephen King said to Eli Roth during their conversation on Eli Roth’s History of Horror.

I wish I could say the same thing. I quit on so many movies (quit on just about every TV show). My time is valuable to me and watching terrible shit irks me something awful…but maybe I’m just looking the wrong way. There must be nuggets of enjoyment out there.

In an effort to find positives, I’m forcing myself to watch entire movies that I go into assuming extreme suckage.

This is not a rating of the summed up quality, but a rating between 1 (I might barf if I watch the whole thing) and 5 (I could hardly look away from the screen) of how watchable the movies are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

A high school student's slumber party turns terrifying as an escaped mental patient with a drill decides to crash the party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, so I’ve avoided this one for years because of what turned out to be the most backward ass assumption. This movie is not just an excuse to show softcore porn at the drive-in like I’d though, it’s a fucking feminist slasher! Amazing. Even the nudity (let’s face it, eighties, slasher, gotta have boobs or maybe nobody will fund the production, or something) was feminist. Now, it’s going to read like I’ve thought a lot about this, and I haven’t, well not like a whole bunch, but the seventies and eighties were the most authentic years for topless women in movies. Nowadays, every boob is pretty much the same, no personality at all. Which was kind of amazing in this flick, a whole range of boobs were represented, and realistically, the pervy dudes watching loved them all!

 

Moving on, but still on the feminist points (I consider a variety of body shapes displayed for appreciation an act of feminism, but maybe I'm wrong). The typical dude jobs, carpenter and telephone repairperson, were handled by women. The hero trying to save the day was a woman. Sure, everybody screamed, but only one woman was a completely useless sack when it came to getting killed, I mean, almost all of them fought back.

And the finale, so much gruesome fun that just kept going and going and going. The killer was silly but original and the cast were human (a few times the acting got cringey, but nothing overtly detrimental). Fast. Furious. Bloody. Outrageous. Different.

 

5/5 stars – Watchable? Totally YES.

 

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